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Sunday I'll be speaking on "Christ understands our loneliness." Christ suffered loneliness and abandonment when all of his friends deserted him when he was arrested. It is a condition which we all have felt at one or another.
According to Rob Lloyd in www.livescience.com, "About one in five Americans is lonely, a gnawing emotional state that is a patchwork of feeling unhappy, stressed out, friendless and hostile."
Why do you think we are so lonely today? How does it affect us? Also, I am looking for a good song or quote to illustrate the loneliness in our society. Post any thoughts here.
James
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12 comments:
hey thanks for stopping by my blog......if you stayed and read anyting thanks too.......
ally
James, I'll have to give it some more thought in order to come up with more current tunes (isn't that ironic!). But, off the top of my head, how about:
Mr. Lonely - Bobby Vinton
Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan
These would resonate with those of us "on the cusp."
John
Thanks, John. I'll look up these lyrics and try to revive those of you "on the cusp." I also have looked at
- Only the Lonely: Roy Orbison
- Pretty Woman: Roy Orbison
- Heartache Hotel: Elvis Presley
- Are You Lonesome Tonight?: Elvis
Other thoughts/songs are welcome.
Thought of a couple more for us cusp-ers. What about "Another Auld Lang Sine" and "Heart Hotels," both by Dan Fogelberg?
The songs you listed would also resonate with us.
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Smashing Pumpkins fan. (I don't even know if I've heard any of their music.) But, from what I understand, they wrote lots of gloomy songs.
Loneliness. That is a touchy subject. People that are lonely don't necessarily want to hear about it. Because to listen to it means you have to admit to yourself that you are lonely. THEN you began to really feel alone and slowly the walls you have carefully built around you begin to crumble. Others will see your weakness..... and a tough person doesn't like that.
However, a person that has their confidence in the Lord knows that loneliness only lasts for a little while, like hunger before a meal.
There is a verse in Psalms 68:6 that states "God sets the lonely in families...." I take comfort in the fact that God knows that I am lonely and that he has placed me in the middle of a family. A church family.
A person might have come from a disfuctional family.... bad mother, abusive father (you name it) but remember, God sets the lonely in families. He has people in this family that can help mentor when there is not a biological parent capable to do the job.
Yes, we are stressed out. Yes, we are lonely. Yes, sometimes we feel friendless. Satan uses all of these feelings to trick us into believing these lies. If he can get us to look down and focus on the bad, the sorrowful, the lonely..... then we lose our joy. The joy Christ died to show us.
Why do we feel so lonely when we should be feeling joy? Because we assume that we will have a life that has little pain. This society believes that all things that bring uncomfortableness should be avoided. Bigger, better, faster, younger, terrific, prosperous, no worries, big houses, new cars, lots of clever friends, successful children, pets that don't wet on the carpet... if they do then we have just THE perfect cleaner to do the job.
What is the opposite of this? Smaller, ok, not so fast, wrinkly and soft around the edges, trying to live on a budget, some worries, a house that has seen better days,a car that has some rust but runs, a few close friends, children that try, and pets.....they do what they do and sometimes the cleaners lie! :) We buy into what the world tells us and when it doesn't happen we wonder why? What did I do wrong? We begin to focus on the fact that our life isn't what the we or the world expects it to be.
Unrealistic expectations.
When I feel lonely. I accept it. For right now, I feel lonely. It doesn't make me wrong or disfunctional. Just lonely. And it's ok. Because I can use that time to either wallow in it, or I can use it to acknowledge that some things have changed and maybe I need to readjust my expectations. I may not like it but it won't always stay this way. God provides exactly what I need to handle the things that come my way....... sometimes it is complete with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and Two Week's Notice dvd and good friends. AMEN. As for song lyrics..... I think a lonely person needs a song like.... Day Tripper by the Beatles. Try playing that song when your in a lonely mood. Or Get Down by Audio Adrenaline. (WOW 2000) You'll be bustin' a groove.... yeow!
Oh dear lawyer..... Dan Fogelburg? I absolutely love "Another Auld Lang Sine"... it's a favorite. Good pick. As for Alone Again.... JUST SHOOT ME NOW. aarrgg... the sap, pure unadulterated sap. I am a "cusp" but that would send me over the edge.
Queen, you made some good points about loneliness.
One of my favorite passages is 2 Cor. 1, about verse 5 where Paul writes that our responsibility is to comfort others with the comfort we have received from God. May we (all of us) be about passing on the blessings of love and friendship to those God has placed in our family, especially those who lonely.
Thanks for making me think about all my blessings and encouraging me to do a better job of reaching out to others.
Queen,
Great verse you gave us from the Psalms. You rightly point to many sources for loneliness--change in situations, God-induced, unrealistic expectations, culture pressures.
All of God's great leaders experienced "time in the desert," where they were alone and felt alone. These times can be difficult, painful, and full of growth, all at the same time. I remember a time in college when I was between girlfriends, and I felt very alone. I had spent my time dating, so I had not built up many male friendships. (Guys aren't good at doing this anyway). It was not fun.
Acknowledging that we are in a lonely period, as you have done, and coming to grips with it, seems to me to be a healthy thing. From there we can set about changing our lives or simply becoming more comfortable in alone times. In our culture, any "quiet time" feels unnatural. But it is often in these times that we hear can hear God's voice.
The church is made up of lonely people, drawn together at the cross--where Jesus felt all alone too. We are here to help each other through the lonely times. And I want you to know, that we are here for you.
James
Queen,
Our band "Assisted Living" will be performing "Day Tripper" at our next concert--May 20. You are invited!
Thanks, Josh! Say--aren't you too young to listen to Bobby Vinton? :)
Hi, I was blog-hopping and stumbled on this page.
I just want to say thanks to The Queen for the post.. it was really very insightful and helpful as I am currently rather lonely and friendless... I believe a person is alone though when he/she does not feel a "connection" or a healthy, fruitful relationship with anyone, in which no other person can empthaise with you or is not willing to try. I think lonliness is subjective and you can choose to feel "lonely" or just accept the fact that one is "alone."
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